Vang Vieng - Tha Khek

I started my blog partly to store my memories which photographs can’t, partly to keep my family amused and partly so I could direct people to my blog in response to the same questions I repeatedly get asked, rather than repeat myself in the emails I type. One of the questions I repeatedly get asked is ‘Your trip sounds awesome, are you having the time of your life’? Or a very similar question with maybe a subtle deviation…… Yes. Another question I regularly get asked is ‘Do you not get lonely’? Lately I seem to get asked the latter question more than the former. I don’t know why.

I felt lonely in China only when I was bored and I was rarely bored. I mostly travelled alone and it did not bother me. By the time I got my bike I could have basic banter in Chinese and I did not mind not speaking my native language for days or weeks at a time. I’ve felt my general wellbeing gradually deteriorating in Laos. In northern Laos I only felt this when in Luang Prabang and Vang Vieng. Vang Vieng to Vientiane was less than 2 days travelling; it was over before it started. I chilled out in Vientiane for a few days, met some really interesting people then Vientiane to Tha Khek was one big long lonely cycle ride that seemed to drag far longer than it really did. I did a visa run to Thailand, amusing myself and the immigration official when I registered my flight or other vehicle number as ‘SUPER BIKE’. The sticker on the side says it’s a Super Bike, she can’t argue with that. I then did 80km in an afternoon. Were it not for a morning of rain I would have done 150km the following day and I did 130km the day I arrived in Tha Khek. I’d envisioned the journey through Southern Laos to be a warm pleasant gentle ride along the misty, tropical, elusive banks of the Mekong. The road has been flat the whole way. I’ve barely seen the river. I was initially pissed off about this but it’s a good thing that there isn’t a road running all the way down. If people like me were capable of seeing it all then it would cease to be elusive. The only thing that I’ve been looking forward to lately has been something which seems crazy, at times seems totally unattainable and is completely out with my control.

I don’t view anomie as a bad thing, it’s inescapable, an inevitability, just like the rising and falling of the sun. It rises because it rises, it falls because it falls. At times I’ve felt Nihilism of the worst sort as I’ve cycled South of Vientiane. I’ve felt a complete lack of purpose or conviction about anything, just aimless rotation of the pedals. Some of the sights were interesting but I had nobody to turn round to and say ‘hey, check that out’, or share thoughts and laughter with at the end of the day. For that reason, at times I lost interest in even looking to see what was on the horizon, I wasn’t interested….. Aimless rotation. I guess increasingly, I’ve been writing my blog because I’ve had so many countless good experiences and this is the only thing I can share. Feeling down has however given me an insatiable appetite to write music again. I haven’t written or produced anything in a long time and I can feel a burgeoning bout of creativity inside me. It will get released when it is ready to be released. My laptop has the software to produce music but not the hardware for me to hear it. I don’t even know if music will be the vehicle, I’m just assuming. I’ll stop now. I don’t want to make this topic too long. It would unjustifiably make my life seem shit which it blatantly isn’t. It’s difficult at times, but when things are going well, and they usually are, things are phenomenal...... Recurring questions answered.

I could say it’s time to snap out of it and pull my socks up, but I try and be resourceful and pulling my socks up might stretch the holes and I don’t want to buy a new pair until I really need to! I’ll snap out of something.